Silent is the ultimate killer

I just had one of those days.Feeling lousy and frustrated and a million other negative things.

Days like this.
I just want to be left alone.

Most of the time,i have it easy
but today is not one of those times.
Went clubbing with my gang of frenz.
Ladies night of rumms wasn't good after all.
Many things happened..
what a bored n moodless ladies night?What happened to me?

MoodSwings,
LOst,
Helpless

so many happenings but so little time to put them in words.
Maybe this is just an excuse for not posting
Been thinking a lot..
Had a few sleepless night bcuz of my worries and fears about my future
or rather about not having a good future?HAHA.
I want to be more proactive
and do more for myself so that
I'll be able to achieve the things i want.
But always..I only do the talking...

What i want to do?
Where do i want to do?
CAn i do what i want to do?
Am i capable in doing so?
What should i do when i cant?
Why we have to go through all this life torturing lesson?
Why cant life be simple and carefree?

Im tired of worrying bout what tomorrow may bring
and would rather just live life as it is
and learn to embrace all its little surprise.
Having have a chance to live through these days,
I truly count my blessing.
May there happy days least for as long as it is meant to be..

I dont know what's becume of me.
Im laughing,Im smiling,Im happy
but deep down inside..there's this feelings.
Some uncovered part of my heart that desires for more.
More of what?I dont know,honestly.
I think there was a time when my grins were wider
and my chuckles,more jovial.
I still smile and laugh now,but maybe..
i juts yearn to break down
and cry away all the negative thoughts and feelings inside of me?

I feel:Lifeless

Headache.Not really feeling well.

My greatest weakness of all-getting too emotional.

Maybe i look darn cold and clam,and seldom cry in front of ppl but i can aslo get all emo.

But thx you all for the comforting and encouraging.

You know i really appreciate all these.

It means a lot to me.

I held the phone in silence,

closing my eyes,

lying back on my bed,

listening to my favourite music soothingly play on from the other side of the speaker.

Three whole minutes must had past as the song slowly died away..

There are certan people who leaves footsteps in my life which i would never forget

bcuz i discover a little more of me through them.

And each time i discover more of myself,

the more i realise what i am capable of.

It may sometime be good or maybe something bad.

But each discovery of myself makes me know better what i want or dont want in my life.

I feel:Moodless

Memories

Hey everyone,this is my new blog.Somone reminded bout my blog so i guess i will be blogging again.^^

Life really hard.Been thru up and downs.Well,the higher you set your expectation,the greater you will fall.Maybe i should start aiming for a mediocre life.At least tat would make me happier when things fall short of my expectations.

Im always told tat im expecting too much but seriously,what's wrong with tat?i maybe demanding in many aspect of my life,but tats becuz i've been through enough crap to know exactly what i want and what i need.

Im sorry for blaming you,for everything i jusy couldn't do,and i've hurt myself for hurting you.Some days,i feeel broken inside but i wont admit,sometimes i just wana hide cause it's you i miss.

I hope after our heart-to-heart talk yesterday does us good in the future.It is not just bcuz of my studies or what but is for a better tommorrow.I hope you dont feel hurt after the talk.I purely just want to clear the barrier btw us and not drawing lines.We will works towards this goal from today onwards.

I'll just live day by day now,counting my blessings and trying to find joy in what i do.