Silent is the ultimate killer

I just had one of those days.Feeling lousy and frustrated and a million other negative things.

Days like this.
I just want to be left alone.

Most of the time,i have it easy
but today is not one of those times.
Went clubbing with my gang of frenz.
Ladies night of rumms wasn't good after all.
Many things happened..
what a bored n moodless ladies night?What happened to me?

MoodSwings,
LOst,
Helpless

so many happenings but so little time to put them in words.
Maybe this is just an excuse for not posting
Been thinking a lot..
Had a few sleepless night bcuz of my worries and fears about my future
or rather about not having a good future?HAHA.
I want to be more proactive
and do more for myself so that
I'll be able to achieve the things i want.
But always..I only do the talking...

What i want to do?
Where do i want to do?
CAn i do what i want to do?
Am i capable in doing so?
What should i do when i cant?
Why we have to go through all this life torturing lesson?
Why cant life be simple and carefree?

Im tired of worrying bout what tomorrow may bring
and would rather just live life as it is
and learn to embrace all its little surprise.
Having have a chance to live through these days,
I truly count my blessing.
May there happy days least for as long as it is meant to be..

I dont know what's becume of me.
Im laughing,Im smiling,Im happy
but deep down inside..there's this feelings.
Some uncovered part of my heart that desires for more.
More of what?I dont know,honestly.
I think there was a time when my grins were wider
and my chuckles,more jovial.
I still smile and laugh now,but maybe..
i juts yearn to break down
and cry away all the negative thoughts and feelings inside of me?

I feel:Lifeless